Dan Papworth challenges us to give up control in leadership.
Taking Play Seriously
by Dan Papworth
"An hour's worth of play is worth a lifetime of conversation"1
We were asked to get into pairs. One of us was to close their eyes while the other guided them around the room. The task was for the one without sight to touch all four walls and be returned to their place. When it was completed we were asked to wait with eyes closed and be attentive to the experience.
In the darkness and uncertainty I spoke to myself inwardly, calming the fear of banging my head or shins. Determined to trust, I became aware of the uncertainty within me, the way I was assessing my guide's competence as he led me around the room, past chairs and tables and other pairs of delegates. Within moments of beginning I was completely disorientated, unable to locate myself. When my guide spoke it had a powerfully calming effect, not only when he gave directions but also when he simply reassured me. I gave myself to the experience. It was a time of living completely in the present.
As guide I was aware of my responsibility, and that I could not control everything. My charge took a while to relax, sometimes pulling ahead when we had to stop, learning to adapt my style. I saw that I needed to be aware of his feet, guiding him by the elbow but attentive to all of him. We had been asked to speak as little as possible, so I kept silence, but I sought to direct with care, precision and confidence. I determined to be inwardly calm, believing that my peace would communicate itself to him. I applied the knowledge and experience I had gained as the one being directed, and what he had shared of the experience of giving a lead
Back in our chairs, we were asked to reflect on what that has to tell us about us and God, and us and those we accompany in spiritual direction. The first was easy. With God I am the one in the dark, unable to see, learning to trust, learning to be led. But what about me and those I accompany?
At first it was tempting to think that it is my task to steer and guide carefully, competently, confidently. But then I realised that it is also with the directee that I am in the dark. As we explore their inner life together, they are my guide. We travel in the landscape that is their lived experience, in the belief/trust that it is in their life that God has chosen to dwell. It is through their life that God seeks to reveal truth. It is like being invited into someone's home. They are showing me around and it is not for me to lead. They are choosing where we go and what we concentrate on. It is about meeting God in the other person. If I can allow myself to trust God and to trust them, just as they learn to trust God and to trust me, then much will be revealed
When I visit the home of someone for the first time one of my tasks is to respect and honour the place into which I have been invited. Over time, with more visits, I become more familiar with it. Trust has been earned and both I and my host can relax. But it remains their home, a place they can choose to close or to open to others. In spiritual direction I am with them for a time, listening and attentive to the home and its occupant, and the one who created both
May I always tread carefully, aware and intentional, and may I always bring peace.
Footnote
Wrongly attributed to Plato, there are a number of possible sources of this thought. The wording has probably changed considerably. In fact it doesn't matter greatly who said it, even though the truth of it was borne out by the experience of this day.
